I had a visit from God today. I know how that will sound to a lot of people, but it’s still the truth. No, I did not see God as a spirit, or even an angel. He visited me in the form of a phone call from a very old friend. Nevertheless, it was God Who spoke through my friend. If you are interested, and you have a few minutes to spare, I’ll be happy to explain how I know it was a ‘God thing.’
I’ve written this post several times now, shortening it every time (that’s actually connected tot he message God used my friend to deliver). I’ve been in a tough place for some time now, and it has shown in my writing. My friend noticed it this morning and took quite a bit of time out of his busy day to call and discuss this with me. In and of itself, the call was nothing special. What is special is the friend who called. Of all the people I have ever known, he was the only person who could have gotten me to listen to and accept what he had to say. What’s more, he called at the exact moment I most needed to hear his message. Finally, the nature of the message was a ‘God thing.’ My friend’s call put a soothing bandage on a deep wound, but he also offered some rather stern correction as he applied that bandage. All together, that call was so much more than a simple coincidence, but you’ll never know the full story because I’ve edited that part out of this post.
What matters here, now, is that my friend was able to get me to accept something I have always known, but have been fighting for a long time. He made me understand that I’ve gone too far in censoring myself. There is humble, and then there is humble to the point that it becomes a vice. My friend was able to speak to me in a way that made me see that I need to drop my pretenses and just deliver the message. I also have to stop trying to protect people from me. I still need to teach people, but it is time that I start leading them, as well. I just have to stop worrying about what I say and focus on how I say it. So, I ‘broomed‘ this page: wiped it clean. Too much of what I have written in the past few days was written in frustration, and it read that way. I was letting that frustration get in the way of helping others hear, understand and accept what I was trying to share. I can do better than that — much better — and I plan to start doing better as of today. After all, that was the whole point of starting this new blog: to apply myself to sharing the things I’ve learned in a more serious and directed manner.
Now, a word to my friend:
I’m not sure whether or not you’ll ever read this, but, if you do, I want you to know that I knew you were ‘judoing‘ me the whole time we were talking. You only succeeded because I let you, and I only let you because you were correct in everything you said. So, don’t get too big for those britches. If I didn’t have a strange sort of awe for you, it still wouldn’t have worked. We were never what anyone would have called close friends, but you were always kind to me, and that left a lasting impression. You were the only ‘cool kid,’ and the only ‘jock’ I knew who actually ‘saw me’ when we were in school. Honestly, I cannot remember a single time that you ignored or belittled me to save face with your friends, and I looked up to and admired you for that. I admire you now for the life you’ve lived and the man you’ve become. So, if you read this, I want you to know that you were chosen because you were uniquely suited to reach me, and you did. I heard, understood and accepted what you were telling me. The thought of what I have to start doing still scares me, and now, you know why. Still, just as you were correct in everything you said to me, I know that it is equally correct for me to share everything I understand about this world with whoever will listen. Thanks to you, I finally understand that this is actually my duty, and that I’ve been wrong to hide from it for so long. Like you said, I just have to apply myself to sharing it in a way that others can hear, understand and accept. There may be those who will see all this as proof of my arrogance, but you know better. You understand it for what it really is. This is why you — of everyone I have ever known — were the only person who could have done what you did today. The Lord asked, “Who will go for Me?” and you said, “Here am I, Lord, send me!” Thanks, ML, I am truly grateful for your willing obedience, my brother.