Please Read This — Before I Delete It

To My Readers;

I honestly have no idea why any of you still follow me, but you do.  So, whatever the reason that keeps you coming back, I’d like to say, Thank You.  I’d also like to offer you the most humble apology I can muster.  Unfortunately, this ‘crisis’ the world is currently in has revealed that I am nowhere near as humble as I’d thought I’d become, so I’m not sure how much my apology is worth.

For years now, I’ve been giving many of you the impression that I am unstable.  I suppose, in a way, I am.  I’ve finally figured out what has been going on with me, but I’m not going to explain it because it doesn’t matter — especially now.  All that matters is that many of the people I have always trusted to keep me grounded are starting to tell me they are worried about me.  This scares me.

You see, the insane don’t realize they are insane.  I believe I am totally rational, but people I value for my estimation of their steady and grounded character are telling me they think I’m losing my grip on reality.  It all centers around this COVID-19 ‘crisis.’  No one seems to see the things I see, and it has me questioning myself in ways I’ve never done in the past.

If I am correct, then it doesn’t matter whether I share what I see with others or not.  I’m just going to convince them that I’ve gone insane.  On the other hand, if I am wrong, then I confirm their suspicions.  Either way, writing about what I see happening in our world today serves no purpose.  Whether I am right or wrong doesn’t matter; I do more harm than good either way.

Therefore, from now until this ‘crisis’ is ‘over,’ I will confine myself to writing about things that don’t really matter if people believe or not — Scripture.  You see, if I write correctly about the Lord’s Word, then those who are supposed to find it, will.  On the other hand, if I write incorrectly about the Lord’s Word, then those who are under His protection will ignore or it.  And the rest?  Well, right or wrong, they will dismiss me as a lunatic either way.  So, the way I see it, writing about Scripture is a win-win.  I might help others understand The Word, but I won’t harm anyone if I’m wrong about what I write.

So, for now, I placed all my COVID-19, as well as my other political posts in an ‘Admin-Only’ status.  They’re still there, but they will stay hidden until such time as I am certain the Lord wants me to publish them again.  I just hope that I’ll finally start sounding ‘stable’ again — and soon.

–Black 3, Actual

6 thoughts on “Please Read This — Before I Delete It

  1. I seem to remember a certain young man named David that feigned he was crazy in order to be safe among the enemy for a time. I often say my best undercover cover is dumb female. I’ve gotten lots of mileage from it, lots of secure admittance & lots of information. Is there method to your feigned madness? You post & abandon so fast I can’t keep up with my limited time online so don’t know what I’ve missed. I’m confused about who you are listening to & why. COVID-19 is in dire need of reasonable Constitutional commentary. Judging by the current panic level I hate to see the day when real bullets start flying.

    1. Riverwolf,

      I’m sorry. This is part of what I’m dealing with right now. I AM starting to lose the handle on my emotions, and I am not happy with what I am seeing in myself. I need to stop and present some sense of stability — for everyone.

      As to who I’m listening to: well, I’ve acquired a small group of close friends who I have always kept close to me specifically because they disagree with me on most everything. I’m used to that from them. They are all extremely intelligent, extremely accomplished and self-controlled. The world would think of them as ‘successful’ in the ways the world values most. Over the years, they have listened patiently as I have described the way I see things, and, secretly, they have all thought of me as their ‘crazy conspiracy friend.’ But they have changed the way they talk to me now, and it has me worried.

      You see, it is entirely possible that I could chase a rabbit down the hole into Wonderland and never realize how lost I was. This is why I keep these friends close: so I’d have some idea if I slipped down that hole. They are telling me — LOUDLY — that I am W-A-Y down that hole! And it bothers me because I don’t think I am. Every bone in my body tells me I am seeing something they do not.

      All together, it has caused me to question myself in ways I have never done in my life, and I do not know how to deal with it. I am in new, alien territory, and I admit it: I’M SCARED! Either I’m losing touch with reality, or I DO see things others don’t. If that is true, and I see what they don’t, then I think I’d prefer to go crazy, because I honestly do not want to live in the world I see coming.

      So, here I am: trying to decide whether to just teach folks about how I see and understand Scripture, or e my concerns for the future of this material world. If they call me crazy over Scripture, then I’m in good company: they said the same thing about most of the prophets. But, if they call me crazy over what I see coming… Well, at some point, I might decide I have gone crazy when I haven’t, and — if that happens — I’ll never know. I’m not afraid of Scripture: the insanity I see outside my windows scares the mess out of me — and I was a Marine! Not much honestly scared me then, or now, so do the math on that for yourself.

      OK, ball’s in your court. How would YOU suggest I proceed? Because, honestly, I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m at the end of my rope. I’ve tied a knot and I’m hanging on for dear life, but it is still the end of the rope. All that’s left if I let go is free-fall…

  2. True character is revealed in desperate times… We are at that time, don’t let others dissuade you from your true convictions. I’ve been following you for a few years and appreciate your commentary and opinion.

    1. KIKMOR,

      That’s just it: I’m starting to wonder whether or not my character is what I had thought it was. Based on the way I am reacting to the pressure I’ve received, I don’t think so. In fact, I fear I may be one of the people for which I have always held contempt: those who KNOW better, yet do nothing with that knowledge.

      Anyway, I’ll take this one to the Lord and, if I sincerely believe I should be sharing my views on the things of this world, I’ll go back to writing about them. I just don’t want to do anything else right now that might cause more harm than good. I pray and beg that all will understand.

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